Animal Jokes!

The mother kangaroo suddenly leapt into the air and gave a cry of pain and anguish.

"Sidney!" she screamed. "How many times do I have to tell you that you cannot smoke in bed!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woodpecker was talking to a chicken. "Woodpeckers are much cleverer than you chickens."

"What makes you say that?" asked the chicken. "You seem to spend all your day banging your head against a tree."

"Ah!" responded the woodpecker. "But have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Woodpecker?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The young man walked into the petshop and asked if he could buy 387 beetles, 18 rats and 5 mice.

"I'm sorry sir, but we can supply only the mice. But what did you want all the creatures for?" asked the petshop manager.

"I was thrown out of my flat this morning," replied the young man. "And my landlord says I must leave the place exactly as I found it.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patient: "Doctor, doctor!" I keep talking to myself."

Doctor: "That's nothing to worry about. Lots of people mutter to themselves."

Patient: "But I'm a life assurance salesman and I keep selling myself policies I don't want."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The new porter at a hotel in Mexico had been given careful instructions as to how to behave with courtesy and efficiency.

"You should try and welcome each guest by name," instructed the hotel manager.

"But how can I do that? How will I know their names?" asked the porter.

"Simple!" explained the manager. "Each guest usually has his or her name written on their luggage."

So the first couple to enter the hotel and be welcomed by the new porter were greeted: "Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Simulated Real Leather."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The father of a young lawyer thought he would try to catch his son on a legal point. Waiting until the clock struck one, he asked: "If I were to take a hammer and smash the clock, could I be arrested for killing time?"

"Certainly not," the son replied. "It would be self-defence. The clock struck first."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A horse dropped dead in a street named Nebuchadnezzar Street, and a policeman was laboriously dragging the animal round the corner into the next street.

"Whatever are you doing that for?" asked a bystander.

The policeman replied, "When I make out my report it will be easier to write "King Street" as the place of occurrence."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I went round replacing every window in the house. Then I discovered that I'd a crack in my glasses.

thanz murli